


Starting Over

by Juststop



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Attempted Murder, Bad Parent Professor Membrane, Boys Kissing, Brutal Murder, Bullying, Child Neglect, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Emotional Baggage, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/F, Fights, First Kiss, Girls Kissing, Gore, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Intersex gaz but it's not talked about much, Irken Empire (Invader Zim), M/M, Minor Character Death, Murder, Oblivious Professor Membrane, Older Dib (Invader Zim), Past Relationship(s), Psychological Horror, Psychological Trauma, Science Boyfriends, Smeets (Invader Zim), We Die Like Men, it's only some parts but it's stretched out, no beta reading, seriously if you're queasy about murder and torture don't read this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-09
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-01-26 08:41:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21371308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Juststop/pseuds/Juststop
Summary: Dib was growing up. Not very well, though. He longs for the days of when he was oblivious to his genetic clone history and before his and Zim's... Relationship got confusing. What was a teenager taking care of his little sister to do?When Zim falls head over heels in love, he can't just not acknowledge that Dib would be revolted with him if the boy found out. But he can't stop himself either. They're both horimonal teenagers who desperately want to figure things out. But it's hard to do that when Dib's neglectful father tells him he's a hybrid of Irken and human and when Gaz needs to be supported.Oh, and, Gir and Skoodge eventually come into play seriously at some point too, I guess.
Relationships: Dib/Zim (Invader Zim), Gaz/Tak (Invader Zim)
Comments: 11
Kudos: 79





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is from a roleplay with my friend that we both worked hard on to create! From both of us, we hope you enjoy.

Zim's eyes flitted over the dark screen before him. His pose was sharp and angular, his hands behind his back and his stature straight and tall. His nemesis' day old cameras were still around his base, trip wires finding themselves in the oddest of places. They'd have to be taken down and destroyed later, though. Today was his second Probing Day since his invasion of Earth, or more accurately, his invasion in progress.

"Computer! Time!" He barked. The computer sighed and groaned like a moody teenager. Zim nervously glanced at the ceiling, then back at the monitor.

[Five minutes until Probing Day ends.] The computer informed. Zim stays in his stiff position, looking around nervously. He didn’t dare move, keeping his posture still as a statue for half an hour longer than necessary.

He reassured himself that they weren't dead, just putting him off. His antennae drooped. He didn't actually kill them, did he? If so, the new Tallest was probably still getting appointed with the Armada's duties. Yeah. That was it.

His gloves squeaked as his hands curled into fists. He was feeling… something. Frustrated. That’s what he’ll call it: frustration. He rushed out of his base, pak legs carrying his form as he skittered over the rooftops, completely ignoring his usual disguise. ‘Wig snatched,’ as the kids at the skool said. At least as far as he could tell. He scaled the Membrane family home to Dib's room on the top floor, peering in.

He pushed open a loose window that Dib had purposely left untouched, just so Zim could enter. It was strange, but somewhat… heartwarming? Once upon a time, he would've smashed it, forcing his way in to catch Dib by surprise, or just to plant bugs and cameras of his own. But it was different now; a sort of back and forth they both quietly encouraged. The window thumped unceremoniously onto the soft carpet below. Metallic legs climbed in, glinting in the moonlight filtering through.

The bed was unoccupied, though. Dib's groggy mind had woken him up before Zim had even the notion of going to his house, and his throat was parched. Why did he have to be human? It would be so much easier to just live without the need for water. His skin itched.

What had added to his problems was a long, laundry list of things including, but not limited to, bullying, child neglect, and confusing electronic instructions. That was just the simple version.

His mattress had been lumpy and hot, but it was much preferred over the linoleum floor freezing his bare feet. He grabbed a glass from a nearby cabinet and filled it with tap water, taking a sip before immediately throwing a hand over his mouth, fighting against the instinct to spit it right back out. This shit tasted like dirt! Didn't his father change the filters the last time he was at the house?

Oh well. He clumsily climbed the stairs again, his bedroom door creaking open as he gently pushed it.

Zim startled and snapped his head towards the doorway, seeing a lanky shadow with a long scythe jutting out. Almighty Tallest, did the human have to be such a creep all the time?

Dib stared into the darkness and it stared right back. Ruby red glistened from the hallway light. Dib felt his pulse quicken and his breath hitch. His world slowed as he took the chance to get his nemesis' attention. He tossed the water from his cup on Zim, a short sharp scream coming from the Irken before Dib was tackled to the ground.

Zim silenced himself fast, knowing all too well what Gaz could do with just her fists alone. The eleven year old was strong and terrifying, and Zim knew better than to risk an encounter.

"Disgusting! Don't you filter your toxic water at all?" He hissed. His skin boiled as he pinned Dib to the ground with his pak legs. One of them severely miscalculated, sinking into Dib's leg before Zim had the chance to notice, too focused on his triumph.

Zim heard a satisfying noise that was music to his antennae no matter how many times he’s heard it: the sound of Dib grunting in pain, struggling to escape.

"Zim, stop! We agreed on no deep cuts! Let go!" Dib whispered harshly. Zim scoffed, stifling a laugh.

"If you think that was deep, you truly are a smeet, you dumb worm baby." Zim said. He let himself be pushed off by Dib and he froze once he saw the extent of damage he had really done. Shit. Was he due for a maintenance check? Probably. His pak leg was dug deep into Dib's thigh, blood seeping into the sixteen year old's alien pajamas.

It was a lot. More than they agreed upon.

"Zim will fix it," He mumbled, the sound just barely audible in the dead night air.

"Look, I'm sorry. I was just trying to get your attention." Dib admitted, just as quiet. Gaz's door drifted open and he held his breath. Nothing. Zim's antennae pressed flat against his head. The pak leg was slowly pulled out and Dib cleaned it off for Zim. He didn't move, frozen in place by the odd gesture. He felt like any noise he made would shatter the illusion. "Do you want new clothes?" Dib asked, finally breaking the silence. 

"Until my superior Irken uniform is back to working condition, Zim supposes he could use your filthy human clothes as a stand in." Zim whispered, crossing his arms and jutting his chin out with a repulsed frown. Dib scoffed. Zim opened his PAK, pulling out a medical kit he kept once their animosity died down enough to justify it, yet refusing to lower their viciousness for quite some time. In previous times, he would have loved to see Dib bleed out in front of him, begging for forgiveness. He still did, but things were different now. It was less of a need, and not nearly as vital to him as the human himself.

Zim knew he couldn't function long enough to take over the planet if Dib wasn't there to oppose him.

He shook that thought from his mind, pulling out an Irken salve to apply to the wound, grabbing a handful of bandages and handing them to Dib to let him wrap his own leg. Zim has learned over the years that he preferred to do that part himself.

"Thanks, Zim." He mumbled. He wasn't getting any sleep anyways, so he found himself actually glad the alien came. he smiled briefly, before wiping the expression off his face. Wait, no! Zim's the enemy! He shouldn't be thinking that about his arch nemesis! He wrapped his leg, trying not to think about Zim like that. They were not friends.

He sighed and got up, going to his closet, grabbing a small t-shirt with a little ghost on it. He started keeping his older clothes after Zim started to stay the night. He grabbed pajamas for himself and looked at Zim.

"There's some good burn cream in the bathroom, if you want to use that. Unless you have yours?" He mumbled. 

"No, I don't, because I wasn't expecting to be ambushed with toxic chemicals!" Zim whisper shouted and headed to the bathroom of the Membrane house. The burn cream wasn't as good as Irken tech, but it was better than what he could get in those filthy human pharmacies.

Zim looked at the clothes and his antennae drooped. He wasn't as mad as he let on to be, that was for sure. He took off his uniform, dried off and applied the burn cream. 

He flicked his antennae over the shirt for a moment, ignoring how safe the smell of Dib made him feel. Not just human, but the Dib-stink himself. He pulled on the shirt and went back to Dib’s room, seeing the boy sitting on his bed.

“Hey, uh, Zim?” Dib asked. His voice wobbled with hesitance. He wasn’t supposed to feel nervous or hesitant near Zim. What was happening? “Could you spend the night? I had a rough day. I got paper thrown at me today. I need to talk to a fr- someone. Obviously we’re not friends, just acquaintances.” He mumbled. He got quieter the longer he spoke. Zim’s antennae picked up on Dib’s nervousness and he stared at the boy. Dib’s hands felt sweaty and his skin felt too tight. He didn’t know what he expected Zim to say. It was going to be either a ‘sure, Dib-beast,’ or an ‘absolutely not, you worm.’ He hoped for the former but prepared himself for the sting of the latter.

“Aw, did the Dib-pig get a paper cut?” Zim taunted, unable to stop himself. It wasn’t like he had tried to hurt Dib’s feelings, but it was a habit he had acquired from before they started to have sleepovers to fight in the morning. “Was it Torque? Do you need the meat-filth to disappear?” he asked after a pause. His voice sounded more genuinely caring this time. No emotion was on his face, but instead represented itself in his antennae.

Zim shook his head and sat on the bed with Dib.

“Zim will humor you,” He says, looking at Dib incredulously. “But only if you… only if you’re willing to also listen to what Zim has to say.” He looked away and jutted his chin out, acting like he didn’t care. He did. 

Dib’s face lit up and he had to sit on his hands to keep from practically pouncing on the little green alien.

“A-Alright! Yeah, whatever you say! Well, Torque doesn’t have to disappear, but I would like to be left alone during AP Chem.” He started out excited, but faltered a bit at the mention of Torque Smackey. He fumbled for a minute, placing one of his hands on the scar on the back of his neck. It felt rough, as it was from only a few months ago, when he neglected to give Zim attention. “Wow uh, I guess I was acting a little like Keef there. Sorry…” His smile turned sheepish and meek. He ran his fingers over the scar once more. It was a nice memory and he felt like they hadn’t been so violent to each other in a long while. 

He looked at Zim with a nervous smile. This was going to be a long night, he could tell.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I went through Elite training, became invader class, and invaded successfully in Operation Impending Doom One. Now I am invading Urth in Operation Impending Doom Two!” He looked proud and smiled to the Dib. He told himself it was because he just forgot when he had been mistakenly reprogrammed to become a food service drone. “The point is that there is no ‘something else.’ You do your purpose from the moment your little smeet eyes open until the day you die either honorably serving the greatest empire in the universe or you have your PAK taken from you. I have trained since smeethood to be an invader and I remain an invader.” He was smiling smugly and Dib put his hands up in surrender.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised a second chapter! I have delivered! Enjoy, I worked hard on this one. This is without edits, so excuse any errors

“Zim can arrange that…” Zim mumbled, a dark smile spreading across his face.

“Huh? Oh, Getting Torque to leave me alone? Yeah, that’d be great!” Dib replied, the meek smile still on his face. It had been more than just a while since Zim had showed off the pinkish teeth to Dib in such a way, and it made Zim’s squeedilyspooch feel weird at the thought that it was for Dib instead of at him.

Zim’s antennae twitched at just the thought of Keef. Sure, Dib’s obsession was almost just like Keef’s but with a hostile nature, but Keef’s obsession was borderline psychopathic. Dib’s was cute, no, flattering.

He looked away and thought for a minute. Would it be safe to just outright say what he wanted to? He didn’t know where to start. He inhaled.

“Zim is aware of the… precarious situation between the Dib-thing and your parental unit,” he takes a pause and looked back up at Dib. He clicked his claws against the metal bed post. The clinking seemed to make Dib tense, so Zim’s antennae pressed flat to his head and he stopped. He supposed that the sound of metal against chitin had put Dib on edge from their past fights. He felt small. Like he wasn’t in control. “In a purely hypothetical scenario, what would your take to action be if you had caused your creator’s death, and no longer had contact with the Dib-Sister?” Dib flinched at that and Zim backed up a bit.

The question honestly scared Dib to no end. He couldn’t give two shits about his dad, but if he lost Gaz? He didn’t know how to process the thought. She was only eleven, and he was taking care of her more than she knew. Even though she was in high school with him, she had only the knowledge of academics and video games, maybe how to make microwavable rice. He did everything for the two of them.

“I’d probably just move in with you and Gir,” He mumbled, his face a blank slate. “No point in staying here if they’re gone. Maybe I’d try to make a living, but it wouldn’t be the same here without Gaz or Dad.” He looked at the little Irken next to him, hoping to find understanding, pity at least. He didn’t like people pitying him, but any emotion besides cruel happiness was better than nothing. He only got confusion from Zim. He looked away. “I think it wouldn’t be worth it to go to skool, since I’m already acing all of my classes. I’m really just there for Gaz.”

What was Zim proposing? That Dib should kill his own family? 

“You would trust your sworn nemesis to give you shelter after you had no parental unit to look after you and after you’re ostracized by your hatch mate?” Zim was baffled. How was that a solution to anything? He continued to listen, though. His gaze was laser-focused on the wall in front of him. He expected it to crumble under the intensity but it stayed as it was. As he listened, he played with the edge of the shirt Dib had given him. He hated how comfortable it made him feel.

He thought about it for a second. Living with the enemy would be a good tactic to find out more about Zim, but he was under the understanding that Dib and himself were well past that point. Making a living, what he had come to understand, was finding a reliable and steady income source.

“So you would leave your post? The smaller purpose you’ve been assigned?” He already assumed that Dib had rejected his true purpose after he had learned he was a clone. He couldn’t understand why Dib would, though. The Dib-Pig had been made to follow in Professor Membrane’s footsteps. He expected Dib to at least continue skool. Hi Skool, now. Dib let out a heavy sigh.

“I mean, I guess. But you’ve been the only constant in my life for what? Five years now?” Something like that. Dib looked at the same wall Zim had been staring at.

“What comes after, then?” Zim asked, his voice small. It wobbled like a glass vase on a shaky table. Fragile and very easily breakable. He looks at the boy for a second, finding a sad kind of numbness behind the wire frames. Over the years, Dib had acquired quite a few piercings, including gauging his ears and getting a multitude of facial and other bodily piercings. His face was more angular too, and he looked more mature. He looked exactly like his father, except with a few softened features, like a more button-esque nose and rounder eyes. He felt like he, the mighty Irken invader, was small and nothing compared to the more mature looking human. 

Dib thought for a second. Would Zim even agree to him moving in? He then smiled. If the little space-bug sitting next to him thought skool was so important, he’d be terrified of the real world. 

“Honestly? I have no idea. I guess I’d have to find some way to get in touch with any relatives, but I’m pretty sure Dad has no living relatives anymore.” His heart stuttered like a rabbit’s once he looked at Zim, surprised to find that Zim was looking right back at him. Stop that, you stupid organ! He thought. 

“Zim knows of no other ‘relatives’ so there is none!” Zim blurts out. Dib jumped back and Zim settled down. “This hypothetical has room for two. The dead one and the one that abandoned you.” He hissed. Dib looked hurt and he instantly regretted making the Dib-Stink make the expression. Dib looked away.

“Cool thing about skool, Zim, is that they don’t give a fuck what you do with your life. It’s always just kind of like… ‘Hey, you graduated! Now go screw off somewhere else.’” He looked over at Zim’s hands and immediately turned back to the wall once he noticed how the chitin claws were gripping the fabric. “It’s like, I dunno, what did you do when you left Invader training?” 

Zim’s face scrunched up in confusion, his eyes squinting towards Dib as he searched in the honey and caramel color of the boy’s eyes for any sign that he was lying. There was none. How? They had all taken the career test! It was set in stone! He soon realized that Dib was telling the truth. This was ultimately the reason the human race was so idiotic, he figured. It was a messy, disgusting free for all. 

“I became an invader, obviously,” he said, puffing his chest out with pride as he began to brag about how superior his race was. “There is no ‘something’ or ‘somewhere’ else. You do what you are told and order is kept. If you do not, you are reprogrammed to a lower, less worthy task, at best, and erased at worst. Defectives are erased, that’s why Irkens aren’t lousy with bumbling morons like you filthy urth monkeys.” He huffed and stuck his chin in the air. 

“I went through Elite training, became invader class, and invaded successfully in Operation Impending Doom One. Now I am invading Urth in Operation Impending Doom Two!” He looked proud and smiled to the Dib. He told himself it was because he just forgot when he had been mistakenly reprogrammed to become a food service drone. “The point is that there is no ‘something else.’ You do your purpose from the moment your little smeet eyes open until the day you die either honorably serving the greatest empire in the universe or you have your PAK taken from you. I have trained since smeethood to be an invader and I remain an invader.” He was smiling smugly and Dib put his hands up in surrender.

“Yikes, Zim, I was only asking a question. Well, I guess I should have expected an answer like that. It wasn’t a very smart one-” Dib’s door creaked open as little feet padded through, carrying a groggy eyed Gaz. She looked at Dib. How long had she been listening?


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ‘My PAK must not be suppressing these urges correctly, then…’ He thought, because suddenly he wants to press his face to Dib’s and cling to him for the rest of eternity. To be held up against the boy’s chest in a lovely embrace. He closed his eyes tightly at the revelation, feeling a wonderful kind of ache plant itself in his chest. Was that why he wanted to protect the human? To hide him away so only his eyes could see him? How… simply depraved Zim must be to fall for not just any creature, but a human.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long to update! Writing is hard when depression gets in the way.

“What is Zim doing here, screaming on a Tuesday at midnight?” Gaz hissed. Her hair was all over the place and she was holding a pillow in her arms.

“Nothing, Gaz, go back to bed.” Dib smiled and kissed Gaz’s forehead, something he did when she was crying as a baby. Gaz opened one of her eyes and glared at Zim. ‘What are YOU doing up on a Tuesday at midnight?’ he thought.

Zim stared at her, terrified and feeling like he was a deer in headlights. For such a young child, she held a terror and unstable anger around herself, making everyone around her terrified of saying or doing something wrong. His shoulders slouched and he relaxed, knowing he had gotten off easy by the way she huffed and glared at him.

“Fine, but if I hear him screaming one more time, you both will be very sorry.” She hissed, walking back to her room after glaring into Zim’s soul. Dib sighed and closed his door behind her, before going back to his bed and flopping onto it, bouncing Zim slightly. His limbs sprawled and he stared at the ceiling. He could feel his eyes drooping. He wanted to cuddle up with Zim and watch movies like they usually did at sleepovers, not whatever this was. His chest felt fluttery whenever Zim looked at him, and he hated it.

Zim looked out the window as he heard Dib shuffling under the blanket he had. Dib thought he looked lost. Dib felt bad for him, really. He gets banned by his leaders under the illusion that he was on one of the most important missions available, then they proceed to kill his feelings right before he tries to prove himself to be better. Now, they’re just gone. Off the grid and off the face of… well, Irk.

“It’s been four earth years,” Zim’s voice was soft, soft enough that Dib had to strain to hear him. He wished he could believe himself when he told himself it wasn’t to wake Gaz. “Probing Day just ended. No Irken in history has ever been skipped over on Probing Day.” He pulled his knees up to his face and sighed, before shuffling to lay down on the far edge of the bed. 

Even if the Tallests were consumed by the florpus hole, the new Tallest should have called him. Tonight just set his nearly decade long fear that he had no mission in stone. He was stuck on this rock, alone, with the high chance that if he were to go into Irken space he’d be killed immediately. He stood up and padded over to the pillow and laid next to the tired boy, looking as he desperately fought sleep like a smeet past its bedtime. Irkens didn’t need sleep anymore, since they had technology like PAKs and actually decent rechargeable batteries. But humans, so fragile and breakable, dedicated half of their lifetime just to charging. Pathetic. 

But, slightly endearing. And cute.

He hates it. 

He hates how soft and sweet Dib’s face looks when he’s fighting off sleep, hates how his eyes slowly close and open and how vulnerable and honest the boy looks. He waits until the teen is delirious with sleep deprived dozing before bumping his forehead against his side. He runs his antennae softly against his side, a show of affection and appreciation. The velvety texture made Dib relax and sigh.

Dib wanted to stay up, right now. He wanted to stay awake and talk to Zim about space. He had school tomorrow, though, and he had things to do and places to be. He debated in his mind whether or not he should skip, deciding that he’d just have to suffer through school. Maybe he and Zim were friends after all. Only once had Zim agreed upon something so serious as friendship, and that was the fight pact. His heart fluttered at the thought of Zim being his friend. It was exciting and new and… nice.

He finally lost the battle to sleep, letting his eyes fall heavily and his body relax completely. It wasn’t a graceful or pretty process, Dib’s mind falling into peaceful oblivion before waking itself up, just to fall back. He woke up quite a few times, one of which he pawed at his face and shoved his glasses off, the metal hitting the carpet. He felt safe with Zim, like he could rest here while Zim was awake. Only a few months ago, he wouldn’t have dared to do what he was doing, calling future him an idiot and stupid for showing such vulnerability. 

Zim waited for Dib to fall completely asleep before putting his glasses on the bedside table. Once upon a time, he would have found great joy in seeing Dib in pain from broken glass in his feet, but not as much now. He didn’t see much of a purpose for pain caused because of his pettiness. He only really wanted to see scars on the boy because they held purpose, not because they were pre- appealing on his skin. He checks the hole in Dib’s leg, seeing that it healed nicely and smiling.

The slow rise and fall of Dib’s chest, along with the rasp of his breath calmed the little alien. He promised Dib silently that he would make sure the Torque would never harm him again. He took a sheet of clean paper off of Dib’s cork board, which was riddled with pictures old and new of Zim. He smiled at that. Dib still had an obsession with him, even after so long. He wrote on the sheet of paper and left it for Dib. 

‘Fulfilling my end of our deal, Dib-Stink. Don’t bother checking your cameras, I won’t be at the base.

-ZiM’

He clambered back out the window after he finished the note, smiling wickedly at his plan. He first got a different disguise, after which he went to the meat-filth’s house, creeping in through a window. He was silent and quick, planting a chip in Torque’s head and skittering out of the house, back to Dib’s. He climbed back in, laying next to Dib and indulging in the soft fabric of Dib’s old shirt. His antennae perk up for a second and he gets up, crumpling the note before laying back down. 

… 

Maybe worming his way under Dib’s arm and cuddling close wouldn’t be so bad. 

Maybe he may or may not have cuddled close to Dib, planning to tell him that Dib grabbed him in his sleep, and this definitely was not Zim’s doing.

As Dib was sleeping, his mind began to spiral horrifically into a vivid nightmare, one that felt so real, he thought he could feel what began to happen to him.

He could barely breathe when he opened his eyes. Everything around him looked fuzzy and clear at the same time. When he tried to reach over to get his glasses, he was no longer on his lumpy, hot bed, but instead was on a cold, metal operating table. His throat tightened as his father appeared from the shadows, Zim sitting on his shoulder. Dib’s eyes widened and tears pricked at the corners of them.

‘No, not him. Please, not him.’ He thought, tears spilling from his eyes. His dad approached and picked up a scalpel, slicing into his son’s abdomen. Zim cackled and Dib gasped in pain, gritting his teeth. His mouth felt numb and slow as he begged Zim to make his father stop. How could he do this? After all they’ve been through, after all they’d done together? Zim smiled wickedly and Professor Membrane ripped Dib’s stomach the rest of the way open. Dib screeched and Zim let out a crazed giggle. ‘Of course you would, how could I be so stupid?’ Dib thought. He sobbed as blood and his own organs spilled out of him. 

He felt alone and hurt and scared. How could Zim do this? He expected his father to do this, but not Zim. Never Zim. He was just sitting there. Watching Dib bleed out on the cold metal table. He screamed silently, trying to make any sound at all, crying and shouting for help, any. Any at all. 

He jolted upright awake and wailed, covering his mouth to mute the sound. Zim could already tell by the way Dib had been sweating that he was having what humans called a ‘Nightmare.’ He had long since pushed himself away from Dib because of the uncomfortable tingle his sweat gave him. 

Dib looked around frantically, his breath uneven and tears falling down his cheeks like rivers. Why did he break down now and not the other times he woke up traumatized? He looked over at the little alien perched on the side of the bed. 

Zim’s seen it before, Dib going through the motions of a nightmare, before waking up confused and delirious. His antennae were pointed towards the boy in front of him and his eyes softened for the boy for a minute before it turns back to confused annoyance.

“I am the only one allowed to strike fear into your heart, Dib-filth.” Zim growls, low and possessive. “Only Zim. Not even the fake one in your sleep gets to have that.” He could make it to where Dib would never have to suffer from another nightmare ever again. He hesitates on the thought for a moment, though. He felt like he needed permission to perform on his nemesis. Like he had to ask Dib’s permission to vivisect him. He’d like to do that, sometime. Other humans had little significance to him, he’d cut them open as he pleased. His Dib though, his Dib was different. He gets special treatment.

Wait, his Dib?

…

Well, yes. His Dib.

He lightly stepped onto the boy’s lap, noticing that he could stand perfectly upright to look at the boy’s sorrow soaked face. The boy had grown immensely and hadn’t stopped, his lankiness defying his strength because of his latest growth spurt.

“What do humans do after these unconscious fits?” Zim’s voice was soft as he spoke. He cradled his chin and made Dib look at him, wiping sweat from the teen’s forehead. 

Dib took his first deep breath since after the nightmare when Zim held his face. Normally, he wouldn’t let Zim do this, but he was scared and in need of comfort. He watched Zim’s arm wipe away his sweat and he wondered if it hurt him. He didn’t process what Zim had said, he only answered.

“I usually just… go back to bed and hope it doesn’t happen again, or just sleep until I wake up from another.” He mumbles. He looks away as Zim stares at him, shock painting his face. “Just hope it’s over and done with so Gaz can sleep.” He felt embarrassment rise in his cheeks as Zim scowled at him.

He just wanted to sleep soundly without the threat of nightmares. Preferably with Zim by his side. His hands twitched towards the little alien and he clasped them together to keep them from moving.

Wait, no, Just without nightmares. Why did he want Zim to comfort him?

“That’s it? Just hope it doesn’t repeat twice in a row?” Zim thought this was getting ridiculous. Why would Dib just let himself suffer? Maybe that’s why Irkens didn’t sleep. Even while it was vital, it ruined lives like this. He felt hurt for Dib. “Go dry yourself off. You’re sticky and reek of sweat and I refuse to burn again because of your little brain glitch.” He waved the boy off.

Zim took off his sweat covered glove and wiped it on a part of the bed he wouldn’t be touching. He shooed Dib off the bed.

Dib nodded and got up, going into the bathroom and drying off. He splashed water in his face to clear his mind then looked to the bathroom counter. A bottle of melatonin sat by its lonesome, next to Dib and Gaz’s toothbrushes. He figured it wouldn’t hurt to take one just to sleep. It had been a long time since he took it for reasons other than sleep, anyways. He popped two dry and then stared at himself in the mirror. 

“Computer. How does one deal with nightmares?” Zim whispered as he put the glove back on. Many results popped up, but a small list provided by the human search engine, ‘Google,’ caught his attention.

[Warm glass of milk. Nightlights. Stuffed animals/other items of comfort. A door left ajar. Talking about the nightmare and writing it down in a dream journal.] Zim hummed in thought, hopping off the bed and rummaging through Dib’s things to find some semblance of this ‘stuffed animal’ item. How comforting could taxidermy really be? It sounded disgusting. He soon found an old Mothman plush that Dib had gotten for his birthday. 

As Dib stumbled back into the room, he smiled at the little Irken, seeing him stumbling back onto the bed at the sound of Dib walking back in. Zim gently places the little plush on Dib’s pillow, patting a spot next to him for Dib to sit. Dib’s face softened with a smile and he nodded, sitting on the bed next to the alien.

“Tell Zim your dream and then you sleep with me and the toy.” It was less of a suggestion and more of a command. Dib nodded and looked away.

“Okay, space boy.” He said. He smiled slightly and looked at Zim. “Why do you want to hear about it, anyways? It’s pretty um… How do I say this? It’s pretty R-rated.” He said. He looked at Zim’s hands, wondering once again if he’d hurt him. 

Zim glared at him for a second, forcing the mothman into Dib’s arms and forcing the boy to lay down.

“I’m older than any human on your ball of dirt you call a planet. R-rated is nothing. Now tell Zim so your pathetic brain can process it and sleep easier.” Zim said, trying to sound at least remotely threatening, and failing miserably. Once Dib cuddles under the blanket, Zim joined him and pressed his forehead to Dib’s shoulder. He enjoyed cuddling up to Dib, as much as he hated the thought.

Zim’s PAK glowed a soft pink, just barely illuminating the room with a soft, warm glow. It made Dib feel comfortable and safe in Zim’s presence.

“Now tell Zim so that you may feel better.” Zim whispered. Dib nodded and smiled softly, blushing from embarrassment. He’d never been treated this way before. Especially not by Zim.

“Okay, well um… I was lying on an autopsy table and dad walked in. A-and you were there too. Let’s see… You kinda just…” He paused, remembering the crazed and gleaming smile that Zim had given him. “Stared at me? And dad started cutting me open and you laughed.” Dib took a deep breath and his confidence began to fade. “Then dad ripped me open the rest of the way and my organs went everywhere… You kinda just laughed at that, too.” He mumbled. 

Zim smiled softly, feeling triumphant that even when Dib was asleep, Zim dominated his thoughts. He enjoyed it, being the center of Dib’s attention. Dib didn’t want to tell Zim that he had begged him to stop, to help, or even that he had screamed his name in horror. The boy looked at Zim. He wouldn’t do that, would he?

“Oh, Dib,” Zim said, placing a hand on Dib’s chest. He loved how Dib’s heart raced at the touch, the lethality in his claws setting fear in Dib’s heart. He didn’t add the insult, feeling that Dib needed to feel safe right now. He was smiling a sweet, wide grin by the end of Dib’s retelling. “I would murder your parental figure before he would even get the chance to look at you with a scalpel.” He said, his tone soft and comforting. He presses his hand closer to the boy’s heart, feeling it hammering in Dib’s chest. “I would do the vivisection myself. But you would be asking for it, begging me to open you up and touch the most intimate parts of you.” 

He can feel Dib’s ribcage shudder with a breath and takes pride in it, smiling possessively. It softens to almost fond, his eyes half lidded.

“You wouldn’t die on my autopsy table, oh no. You’d ask me to do it over and over again. I’d comply every time.” Zim says. He’d forgotten what he was supposed to do, but Dib seemed happy about it. However, anything claimed by Zim would appreciate a good vivisection. “Your nightmare will never come to pass, Dib. It would be quite different and we will both enjoy it when the time comes.” 

Dib wrapped his arms around Zim and pulls him close, sleepy adoration in his eyes. 

“Would you really kill him for me, Zim?” Dib asked, snuggling up closer to Zim. He had let his emotions slip for a second to show that he really did want to be friends with Zim. He yawned, his eyes becoming heavier in a rare, peaceful kind of way. He smiled softly at the thought of Zim making him feel comfortable and safe, even as he vivisected him. “That’s so kind of you…” He mumbled, he pulled the plush mothman close to his chest as his eyes slipped closed, his body hesitantly drifting off to sleep. Zim was right. Talking about his nightmare did help. A lot. He felt safe falling asleep, this time.

The scythe lock of hair fell into Dib’s face as Zim wondered silently to himself. Well, that was definitely not a normal human response. Then again, when had Dib ever reacted to anything normally? Dib was different, and Zim would never waste so much time, energy, and dignity on just any normal human. No, Dib was never meant to exist naturally. He was a beautiful and unique freak of nature, a cosmic miracle of infinite improbability. 

He let Dib relax against him, watching as he snuggled close to the plush toy. He suddenly became inexplicably jealous.

‘That should be me in Dib-beast’s arms, not you, you stupid hunk of fabric.’ He thought, wanting so badly to just yank the toy free from Dib’s grasp and replace it with himself. He doesn’t leave the bed, this time. He stayed in the boy’s arms, letting Dib hold him. He watched Dib’s chest rise and fall with slow and shallow breaths. He loved how the warm breaths felt on his face.

…

Oh.

… 

Oh, no!

He wanted to stay and watch over the boy. He realized that he had taken time from his schedule, one that could have been filled to the brim with ideas of world destruction, to comfort Dib, to help him relax. What happened? What was he doing?

He’s… He’s defective and it’s allowing him to want. He touches his lips with a gloved hand, watching the Dib’s parted lips as the human sleeps. Irkens had suppressed these kinds of urges and emotions once they had forgone any kind of natural breeding. Romantic mate relationships didn’t need to come into existence once the smeeteries took effect.

‘My PAK must not be suppressing these urges correctly, then…’ He thought, because suddenly he wants to press his face to Dib’s and cling to him for the rest of eternity. To be held up against the boy’s chest in a lovely embrace. He closed his eyes tightly at the revelation, feeling a wonderful kind of ache plant itself in his chest. Was that why he wanted to protect the human? To hide him away so only his eyes could see him? How… simply depraved Zim must be to fall for not just any creature, but a human.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Thanks, Zim. You’re a good friend.” He ran his long, cold fingers over Zim’s palm softly. Zim shuddered and gawked at him.
> 
> “Friend?” Zim asked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long for an update! I've been going through it™ so I had no motivation to finish.

Dib jumped and groaned as his alarm went off by his head, his own voice programmed in, yelling at him to get up and ready for the day. He slapped the snooze button and got up, which is more productive than he can remember himself ever being in a long time. The little mothman plush was on the ground he noticed as he got dressed. He woke up Gaz, and then started his daily routine. Brushing his teeth, Getting a shower and then redressing, and then hearing Gaz play her games on her Gameslave. He couldn’t believe she was only eleven and already in high school. He was extremely worried for her.

He went downstairs, putting in code for foodio to make waffles and getting a Capri Sun from the fridge. He checked his watch and then looked upstairs.

“Gaz! Ten minutes! Come eat breakfast!” He hated yelling at his sister, but how else was she going to listen when she was blaring Three Days Grace through her headphones?

Zim had to get up before Dib did. The thought of the human waking up to see him made him sick to his spooch. To let him know that Zim had wasted so many precious hours that could have been possibly used for scheming just to silently watch the boy sleep. That in itself would have creeped the boy out, if not for the fact that Dib didn’t have a steady sleep schedule, doing the exact same thing to Zim. No, as far as Dib was concerned, Zim had left as soon as he was in his REM cycle.

He slips on his disguise and blinks a few times to get rid of the scratchy feeling of the lenses. He straightens his now dried uniform and he… He puts the Dib’s shirt in his PAK… To give to him later, yeah. Of course, he’d give it back. He pops open a can of soda and downs it in one giant gulp, climbing up to the ceiling to retrieve a rubber piggy that Gir had launched up before he could go into one of his screaming fits. He handed the hunk of pink rubber to the loyal SIR unit.

“I’m off to skool, Gir! Do not open the door, even for pizza! I got you plenty of tacos to make up for it!” He barks, exiting the house. Gir ‘aww’ed behind him. 

AP Chemistry was a subject both he and Dib shared, although Zim was baffled how they shared it with Torque Smackey. It didn’t really matter.

He pulled out a small remote from his PAK, flipping on a switch. He plans to leave it on for only the duration of the class, as per HIS Dib’s request. Every time Torque looked at or thought of Dib-thing, he’d essentially have a painful seizure, but without the lasting effects. There was no way that the meat beast could harm HIS Dib with the switch on. He was sure of it. 

He folded his hands on his desk and waited eagerly for Dib to come in, looking very smug and satisfied that he could complete his end of the deal with HIS Dib. Dib had listened to his not-quite-hypothetical-but-still-kind-of-hypothetical, anyways. It was only fair that he gave back to the sad-looking boy.

After Dib dropped off Gaz close to her first class, Dib made his way to his own first class. He pressed the lock button on his car keys and let his shoulders relax, sitting in his assigned spot in front of Torque Smackey. ‘It was so sweet of Zim to stay with me last time.’ He thought, a soft smile crossed his lips. He kind of wished Zim had stayed the whole night instead of leaving, for some strange reason. He just assumed that Zim had skedaddled after Dib fell asleep for good. He flipped open his Chemistry textbook and tuned out Mrs. Bitters in favor of doodling on its dogeared pages.

He jumped and whirled around to look at Torque as he heard a loud zap.

The boy looked like he had just snorted hydrochloric acid and had let it sit there in his brain to rot. He figured that Torque was probably on steroids or something when he turned around at the familiar and terrifying call of cicadas.

Zim couldn’t stop his grin as Dib noticed many times Torque had gotten shocked. ‘Be impressed by my genius, Dib!’ He thought, unknowingly loving how Dib looked back at him with each seizure Torque had. ‘This is for you and you alone.’

Mrs. Bitters wasn’t having this behavior, but once she saw that Torque wasn’t able to control himself, she sent Torque to the nurse’s office. Zim knew from enough Urth research to know that the paramedics would be called. This Hi Skool was just as ineffective as the other Skool. Once he figures that Torque is in the nurse’s office, he smugly reached for the remote and switched the chip off. He hummed a self-satisfied tune, the irresistible pull of Dib making his eyes dart over to check if Dib had noticed, had liked it, anything. 

Dib crouched over a note for a second, writing a bit clumsily before passing it back to Zim. 

‘Did you do that?’ It read. Dib had a bright, impressed smile etched across his face. Torque would bother him no more! He really was more impressed at the great lengths that Zim would go to to make sure Dib felt safe where he was and wanted for who he was.

His heart fluttered for a bit. His nemesis, maybe friend, caring about him.

He had never felt that before.

Zim could feel his squeedily spooch clench upon receiving the note. Dib had noticed. Well, yeah, of course he would have noticed. Dib was always creeping in his business and was always very observant. But… This time Zim actually wanted it. Actively was hoping for it.

‘I am a being of my word, Dib-shit. I fulfilled my end of the bargain as did you.  
ZiM’

He passed the note back and fiddled with his pencil as the teacher droned on about things he had known since he was a smeet whose egg tooth had just begun to fall. He might have to antagonize his Dib sometime soon so he doesn’t catch onto whatever Zim had figured out last night. For some reason though, he can’t think of a way to execute it.

Dib smiled and laid his head down on his desk, doodling in the pages of his textbook until the bell rang for lunch. A warmness swelled in his chest at the thought of Zim wanting to be friends with him. Jesus, he was really starting to sound like Keef. 

If this was a dream, the person to wake him up would be viciously disemboweled and their organs sold on the black market. 

As Zim gets up and walks to the lunchroom with other kids filing out of the class, he absently tried to think of ways to either antagonize and mock Dib or ways to make him impressed and see that sparkle in Dib’s eyes and shocked, happy smile he got. He shook the thought from his head as he went through the lunch line, sitting in his usual spot with the inedible slop on his tray. Couldn’t they ever serve something that HE could eat? Like Fun Dip?

Dib sat with his sister on the other side of the cafeteria, reading and rereading the note. He smiled softly, magining once again that Zim thought they were friends. Would he accept him as his friend? He wanted to sit by him, but Gaz wouldn’t budge while in the middle of a level. He felt happy, though. Happier than he was in middle school. He pulled a package of skittles from his coat pocket, looking at Zim from across the lunchroom. It wasn’t Irken by any means, but he hoped it was edible for Zim. He hoped it would make him happy.

“Hey, Zim!” He waved to Zim from across the cafeteria. “I got something for you, spaceboy!” He smiled brightly. It was kind of hard not to when your nemesis was hinting at being friends.

Zim stares at him for a moment, getting up and leaving his tray behind. Good riddance. He approached Dib and snatched the skittles from him, eyeing them cautiously. He sat across from Dib and ripped open the package. He sniffed its contents, just to make sure it wasn’t laced with anything. It wasn’t.

He stuck his tongue in the package and pulled out a single skittle, biting down… Oh. That was wonderful. Sugary goodness flooded his senses along with the slightly sour taste of malic acid and artificial dyes. It definitely wasn’t Irken, but it was edible. It was… nice. He ate with his tongue, sometimes with his hands and sometimes just by the mouthful. He tries to train his face into one that wasn’t one of joy, tries to pretend he didn’t just love what he received. He mentally slapped himself at the thought that it wasn’t convincing.

Dib smiled softly at him. He looked between Zim, his mouth, and the skittles bag.

“I have more at my place if you want to hang out.” He says, eager at the idea of his nemesis-turned-possible-friend coming over just to hang out. Like normal high schoolers did. All of his other ‘friends’ used him.

“Ah, and something for the Dib-beast.” He says, being as nonchalant as possible and mentally slapping himself. He was supposed to be antagonizing and berating Dib for pointless things, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He wasn’t supposed to be trying to woo him over with gifts and feats of ingenuity to prove he was a worthy mate! Oh, well. He holds out the controller for the chip in Torque’s head.

“It’s off, but turn it on and the Meat-child will not be able to even think about you without getting the shock of his life.” Zim says. Dib stared at the little remote in awe.

“You made this overnight? That’s amazing!” Dib looks up at Zim with a blinding smile. Zim smiled back maliciously. 

“Of course, but it won’t be needed for long. I’ve heard about your human slobbering dogs, box cats, and hungry mice of the such. The negative reinforcement will have him begging for your forgiveness at your feet soon enough.” 

“Thank you, really. I really appreciate it and I’m glad you did this for me.” Dib said, looking up at Zim with adoration and running his fingers over the smooth, red button. He pulled out another pack of skittles for Zim and smiled. “I have more at these at my place… if you wanna hang out after school.” He hands the skittles to him with an anxious smile, looking away. 

Was this a courting gesture? Zim was aware of the human tradition of giving chocolate as an offering, but he didn’t know if skittles fell into that category.

“I um… I don’t want you to go hungry. I know how god-awful the cafeteria food is. If you’d like, I could bring you skittles every day.” Dib’s face grew hot and he began to ramble, looking anywhere but at Zim. “Of course, that’s only if you want to. You don’t have to, it was just a suggestion. No pressure. If- If you’d like, you can sit with me and Gaz. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind as long as you don’t bother her.” He looks at his feet. Why was this so hard?

Zim wasn’t sure how he felt about that. He knew how he felt about Dib complimenting his work though. He was amazed at how readily and easily Dib gave him praise. It felt right, in a weird way. It made his spooch feel… strange. Regardless of what it was, the feeling became… worse, he supposed, when he snatched the skittles from Dib’s grasp. He snorted at the mention of the cafeteria food. Awful might be accurate for Dib, but not to Zim. Deadly was more fitting. Human nutritional needs were so ridiculously widely varied, it was a miracle Dib was still alive with how many mineral deficiencies he had.

He took a glance at Gaz, who was furiously pressing buttons to make combos and defeat the latest boss. He wondered if she’d heard all of this, had opposed it, really anything. Would she really not mind? Did she recognise that he was courting her older brother? Or was she too young to understand? Did she know why the fuck Dib was giving him skittles? Zim sighed.

“As long as it benefits me.” He huffed as he sat down next to Dib. He tried to sound like being near Dib was a chore, but it was so hard when his face just… lit up like that!

The face in question he was making was a wide and bright smile. He took one of Zim’s gloved claws in his hand and examined it, admiring the claws like a scientist discovering something new and beautiful. Well… Zim was beautiful, he supposed. In a friend way, of course.

“Thanks, Zim. You’re a good friend.” He ran his long, cold fingers over Zim’s palm softly. Zim shuddered and gawked at him.

“Friend?” Zim asked.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In fact, he thought that what he felt was just what friends feel. It made the most sense, then why was he nervous about what he was about to tell him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I am so sorry for the wait, but chapter 5 (the good kush) is finally here!

Who had said anything about friends? He’d convinced the entire school that he had become friends with that horrible Keef, he had no need for any other pig-smellies close to him. But Dib was no pig-smelly, so he supposed it was fine. 

He froze in place when he felt hands much bigger than his grab his hand. He then looked to Dib incredulously and shivered. He smirked.

“Interested in superior Irken biology, are you?” He boasts, his chest puffing slightly in pride. Wherever Dib touched on his hand, it left a little tingly sensation that he didn’t think was that bad. Strange. He could feel it through his gloves, which made him wonder if it was an allergic reaction.

…

Could allergic reactions be comforting and pleasant, though? He somehow doubts it. Most he’d seen and experienced always seemed to leave the inflicted in an uncomfortable agony. He should have yanked his hand away and knocked Dib right onto his ass. But why didn’t he?

He frowned at Dib’s… truly radiant smile, looking down in favor of fidgeting with the Skittles packet. He opens it and tips half into his mouth as if the Skittles would take him away from the situation.

“I guess you could say so, yeah. I’m more interested in yours, though.” Dib says, studying the intricacies of Zim’s tiny, skinny hand. He looked to Zim. “Wouldn’t you feel more comfortable with looking at the person that helped you through a nightmare than a stranger?” He quipped. He wanted to take the glove off, to look at the three, skinny, green fingers in all of their glory, to see Zim’s anatomy for what it truly was. In a sense, it really was superior. There were no strong, muscular structures to really grab and hold a person in place. It was all very delicate and promising of scarily accurate precision. 

He knew that Zim’s antennae could smell, touch, taste, and hear much more than his own sensory organs, as Zim called them, could. He knew that the Irken’s frame and build was much sturdier than it looked, and strong too. Even if the alien looked like Dib could snap him in half very easily. He loved- 

No, that was wrong…

What? Why was he thinking that?

He liked everything about Zim.

Not to mention how nice the alien could be. 

He liked what he experienced the night before. Zim had, dare he say it, comforted him in a way he didn’t even know existed. He let Dib touch him and cuddle both him and the plush when in normal situations, Zim would be revolted by even being near Dib. He told him things that normal people would have put a restraining order against him for, yet Dib found them extremely comforting and calming. He felt safe with Zim that night.

…

He liked that Zim cared as much as he did. It was such a harsh contrast from their usual interactions. Well, not really, as of late. He liked that Zim trusted him enough to sit with him at lunch. 

…

He liked being friends.

“Zim dissects strangers all the time.” Zim says, “They’re all just meat sacks, anyways. Smelly-stinky inside and out. Your species, and by extension, you, is riddled with diseases." He thought for a moment, before continuing. "It was a one time thing. Don't get used to it, smelly." He lied. He… really enjoyed, actually, comforting the human boy. He shouldn't have - he was meant to destroy and conquer. He makes a mental note to give his PAK a thorough maintenance check.

Dib faltered a bit, looking away from Zim. He didn't think that he should let Zim see his ugly emotions of jealousy and sadness. He smiled to him, trying to convey that he wasn't mad Zim dissected people other than him first. He quickly tried to somewhat brighten up. 

Zim scooted closer to him with a smug grin. “How often do these nightmares occur? Am I always the object of your fears? Am I the thing that goes ‘bump’ in the night?” He teases, his sharp teeth glinting in the cafeteria light. The idea gave him an adrenaline rush, that he was the thing that made Dib paranoid, even in his unconscious state. He felt a type of power surge through him as Dib looked at him like he was trying to hide that Zim was right. He chuckled internally. He didn’t even need to be around to cause Dib grief. 

Dib’s thoughts were consumed by nothing but Zim, as they should be. 

Dib smiles nervously.

“You’re in a lot of them, yeah. They’re very… detailed. One I think wasn’t a nightmare, but that doesn’t matter. And um… they’re very frequent, it’s why I don’t get much sleep anymore.” Which was evident by the dark, heavy bags under Dib’s eyes and his constant tired expression. It was mostly from months upon months of doing late night homework and spying on Zim, only getting two to three hours of sleep, and what sleep he got was plagued by nightmares. “They’re pretty terrifying, too. I had a nightmare once about you killing me via scratching me up and throwing me in the dirt to get infected.” He says. That one hurt worse for some reason. Like Zim was leaving him, just as his father had. 

He should stop.

He was probably making Zim uncomfortable with the fact that he had nightmares tied to Zim killing him in various ways or him telling Dib he would never be enough. He was scared that Zim would leave him to fend for himself just as many others had.

...Would he? Zim at least acted surprised when he said he would prefer to live with him over extended family that he was pretty sure didn’t exist anymore. That was, of course, if he had nothing. He’d only stayed over at Zim’s house for Nightmare Before Christmas and morning brawl when they were too tired to continue their fights. In fact, it was VERY likely that Zim didn’t care about his feelings whatsoever, let alone his mental health. He was hesitant to admit to himself that yes, that particular thought scared the ever loving shit out of him.

Dissection wasn’t something special to Zim. He had killed and disposed of many bodies during his five years on earth. He was usually busy with said bodies, experimenting, dissecting, learning more about human biology and what to exploit and look for. 

No, dissection was purely practical. But for his Dib, his precious human only he was allowed to open up? Only vivisection would do. He wants to be able to see the fear and sick fascination in those honied eyes as he sinks his hands wrist-deep into the other’s organs.

His antennae jumped against the confines of his wig at the mention of a sleeping encounter that wasn’t a nightmare. What was it? How dare the horrible Dib-Stink hold anything other than fearful respect towards him? His superior, and future owner?

No, Dib not sleeping enough would not do. He needed Dib at peak health if their fights were going to be worth anything. There was a reason why Dib was able to keep up with him for so long, after all! 

“That’s a pathetic way to die.” He hissed, blunt as a hammer. He waved his hand as if Dib’s dream was nothing more than an annoying and lowly gnat, and as the bell rang and their classes dragged on, he marched on without Dib. 

He didn’t go to the Membrane house like Dib suggested. Offered? What did he even mean by that interaction? He wasn’t sure if the boy meant what he said or if he was just thinking out loud. Zim spent time in the bowels of his lab, working on a new project. Though for a few minutes all he could think about was that filthy human that his mind seemed to be constantly consumed by. Disgusting. The little item was about the same size as the chip he had implanted in Torque, but it functioned much differently. He carefully slipped it into a sterile container, taking care not to chip it or something like that. He tucked it into his PAK then took out Dib-Thing’s childhood shirt. He let his antennae flit over it gently, pressing the soft and well-loved material to his face. As his cheeks dusted a light purple, he wondered in horror what he was going to do.

He was in over his head. Normal Irkens hadn’t had these urges for millenia. 

As soon as Dib got home, Foodio was of course powered down for the night without making dinner for Gaz. He sighed as he looked in the fridge. Plain quesadillas it was, apparently. Once he was done making dinner, he gave the single quesadilla to Gaz and ate whatever was left of the shredded cheese. 

“You’re disgusting.” Gaz said, smirking softly. Dib just chuckled and ate another pinch of cheese.

“Yeah, and you have to deal with me until you turn eighteen.” He retorts. Gaz fake gags.

“Can’t wait.” She said, sarcasm dripping from her voice. There was silence for a few moments before the both of them laughed.

Zim didn’t know why at 8 pm he was clambering through Dib’s window. He stood there on Dib’s bed, looking lost and small when Dib opened his door after spending time with Gaz. Despite being tired and not willing to sleep, he nearly jumped through the ceiling upon seeing the little alien. 

“Zim, what are you doing? I thought you went to your base…” He said, walking slowly up to the little alien as if going any faster would scare him away. “Are you okay? Did something happen?” His voice was gentle. He was terrified at the thought of Zim being hurt, he didn’t know why. They hurt each other all the time. Well, not as of recently.

“Well, yes, I did. But I’m obviously not there anymore.” Zim retorts as the boy sits next to him. He crossed his arms and his antennae jutted indignantly forwards. “I came for my skittles.” He lied. 

He could see it on his face that Dib knew, though. And Dib felt bad for it. He wanted to be close to Zim, but he didn’t want to spook him off. Why couldn’t his mind just decide what it wanted? Zim didn’t feel like he belonged there.

“Zim-” He hesitated and looked at the boy. He felt like screaming at him, stupid human. Making him feel things. “I can no longer deny it.” The small alien said, his antennae falling and pressing flat to his skull. His eyes flicked to the floor and he focuses on a specific spot of carpet like it would give him the answer to whatever was going on with him. “I no longer have a mission or a purpose. I have been abandoned.” The fact had latched itself in his brain like the mind eating parasite he let loose and it simply wouldn’t let him let go once Probing Day had come and gone. He felt like crying, but he couldn’t. Not in front of Dib. Even if he had given himself the chance to come to the Dib-Pig for comfort. 

Dib realized last minute something that made him want to hug the obviously hurting alien to his chest. He didn’t know. He hadn’t known, while Dib had known for over a year now. He got him his skittles from the closet.

“Oh, Zim, you didn’t know this whole time, did you? I’m so sorry.” He gives the skittles to him, sitting down next to him again. “I thought you knew this whole time, I just didn’t bring it up because I thought it was sensitive.” DIb says, rubbing just above his PAK gently. He was tempted to ask the tiny alien if he was alright, but it was very obvious that it was taking all of Zim’s energy to keep it together.

Zim hugged his knees to his chest when Dib said he knew. Of course he did, that just added fuel to the fire burning him up and making him want to break down on the boy’s carpet. How long had Dib been laughing at his misfortune, he bitterly thought. How much did he know, how obvious was it? He ripped open the box and ate the skittles, relaxing at Dib’s touch. He didn’t know why it was so relaxing, but it felt like he was being grounded and safe in a world of violent storms. He nibbled on the skittles one by one, letting the sugar comfort him.

“Zim could no longer deny it once Probing Day was over.” He mumbles. It was why he had stalked into Dib’s room the night before and got assaulted by water before comforting the boy to sleep.

Dib got an idea. Hopefully this would work.

“If they abandoned you, then they didn’t deserve you anyways. You’re the great Zim after all, anyone who lets you go deserves to be punished. And besides, if it weren’t for me stopping you, you could have definitely conquered Earth quite a few times. You’re smart enough to do it.” He smiled as he tried to encourage Zim enthusiastically, hoping it would cheer him up.

“I think you’re pretty great myself.” He says, looking away momentarily to smile at the ground. They were friends, right? That’s what friends are for.

Zim wanted to scream at the fact that he wanted to be held in those big arms like a fucking smeet. 

“The Tallest and Control Brains are law. Nothing is greater than they, not even Zim, as superior as I am,” Zim said, seeing right through Dib’s valiant attempts at making him happy. He appreciated it. Though he couldn’t help but feel like there would be no way that Dib could be genuine when he told him that. Especially when he knew the truth. “Zim is also defective.” Dangerously so. If Red and Purple were truly gone like they appeared to be, that would be the fourth Tallest Zim would have killed. Of course, they were completely and absolutely on accident. He would never commit a single treasonous act against the Tallest. Fuck, he had even corrupted the Control Brains enough with his defectiveness in the process of getting erased. That was worse than killing a Tallest.

Zim butted his head against Dib’s side like an earth feline. He felt small. Very small. He had never felt his height, his personality usually big enough to make him seem larger than life and demand attention from everyone around him. But right now, he felt so, so tiny. Small enough to fit in a pocket.

“I know what you’re thinking, and no, I’m not going to laugh and it really wasn’t obvious. I figured out because your shithead leaders talked to you like you were dirt during a call I intercepted. They don’t deserve your respect.” Dib says. He curled his arms around the little bug and cuddled him close. This was what friends did, right? He gently rubbed the top of Zim’s head. ‘His skin is so soft.’ He thought to himself, before promptly hitting said thought over the head with a bottle and dragging it into the alleyway labeled ‘things not to think.’ He didn’t want Zim to think he was weird. Well, he probably already did, but he wanted to be the friendly kind of weird, not Keef weird.

“They are The Tallest. They deserve undying loyalty by definition. It’s in our code.” Zim said, feeling… touched. Dib was wrong, of course; they did deserve respect even if they don’t respect him or even value him, even a little bit. But… the fact that Dib thought otherwise was refreshing. And by extension, extremely comforting. He also tries not to think about how warm and achy his chest feels when Dib knew exactly what he was thinking. 

He allowed the boy to pull him close, and the tiny, itty bitty alien crawled into his arms like a kicked puppy in need of love. He hides his face in Dib’s chest, feeling lost and vulnerable.

Zim knew Dib was an outcast. However, the difference between himself and the walled up boy was that Dib was never under the impression that he was accepted by anyone at all. Yes, being told he was a clone had torn Dib up for months and had pulled the metaphorical rug of normalcy out from under him, but everything else Dib was acutely aware of. 

He felt his antennae droop as Dib’s hand gently lays on his head. It took a shit ton of trust for an Irken to let someone else touch even near their antennae, let alone a different species or touching antennae themselves. Dib wasn’t touching them, but he was damn close. Close enough that Zim could feel the vibrations of closeness in the sensory organs.

He couldn’t help himself.

He grips at the boy’s shirt and buries his face in it, a soft rumble of a purr coming from somewhere deep in his chest as a soft purple blush dusts his cheeks. He refused to cry, still. Maybe once the boy who was holding him close was delirious with sleep or completely out with it, only then would he consider shedding a few tears in front of his… ex arch nemesis. But for now, this comfort was nice.

Dib smiled once he felt Zim cuddle up to him. He gently rubbed between Zim’s antennae, feeling immensely happy that Zim trusted him enough to touch him. 

“I feel kind of… I dunno. Honored? That you came to me for comfort. I guess it kind of proves that we’re friends now. You’re actually really kind to me, Zim. I’m glad to consider you my first actual friend.” He rambled, looking at Zim with kindness and vulnerability.

Good. Dib should feel honored, even though Zim never wanted to admit that. His deep purring continued, his chest shuddering with each purr. 

Dib wanted nothing more than to cuddle up to the little Irken and fall asleep like this. But he felt that wasn’t what friends did. He felt strange about it, like he wasn’t welcome to do that. 

He looked out the window, hearing soft rain pitter against the metal roof and the windows. He wasn’t sure what he was going to do, but he supposed if Zim wanted to go back to his base he could just drive him. It was a waste of gas but it was worth it if Zim didn’t get burned. Friends looked out for each other, right?

A single antenna flicks up at the first sign of rain. He’s stuck here. He’s admittedly glad for the excuse, because he’s not sure that he could pull away from the comfort of Dib’s secure and safe arms. Irkens weren’t allowed such luxuries as this. It was a waste of time. But with Zim’s PAK being defective, he felt the consequences of not being able to draw comfort from another being. He was touch starved and he never wanted to let go.

“Zim will stay the night so your pathetic flesh brain will cease its goopy fussing.” He’s not ready to offer his services of the brain chip yet. He wanted to be held close and listen to the gentle breathing of Dib’s sleeping form once more. He would brutally mutilate and murder anyone who got the same affection as him.

He involuntarily feels his PAK legs in travel mode wrap around the boy, a silent plea to not let go. Begging him to not even think about it. He buries his face in the tall boy’s chest, letting out a single small croak similar to how baby alligators call for their mothers. It was a vulnerable sound, indicating intense need for comfort. 

Dib smiled as Zim curled against him, welcoming the PAK legs around him as he cuddled Zim closer. He felt safe with him.

Like he could tell him anything.

“Aw, thanks Zim.” He mumbles. He sets his cheeks against his head and pet him. This might be the first time he was able to sleep soundly, if not for the fact that he wanted to cuddle Zim like a stuffed animal. He wanted to lay there with him without weirding him out, though. “Hey, can I tell you something?” He asks, suddenly very nervous.

After a while Zim was reassured that Dib wouldn’t be letting him go anytime soon so he let his PAK legs retract. A shiver of warmth bit at his spine when he felt the soft, mushy flesh of Dib’s cheek. He couldn’t help but let his antennae dance along Dib’s skin and along the contours of his face. He wanted to continue, to get lost in the feeling and safety of Dib, but he let them relax. 

“What is it, Dib-Thing?” He asks, his voice thick with… something. 

Dib mustered up his best lovestruck puppy look and pulled Zim close. 

He knew Zim probably assumed he was gay, but he was scared to admit it in fear that Zim would make one of his nightmares come true. He tried to sound as convincing as possible. Zim couldn’t possibly have feelings for him, they had just started being friends literally a couple of hours ago.

In fact, he thought that what he felt was just what friends feel. It made the most sense, then why was he nervous about what he was about to tell him? 

“I think I’m in love with the girl that sits behind you, Zim.” He says.


	6. not really a chapter sorry guys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just an author's note

Hey guys, Cal here. So. There's gonna be a very much slow down until i can publish the next chapter, due to me switching schools. Don't worry, though! The show must go on, and this story isn't over! Ily guys! Practice self care and social distance!

~Calvin


	7. so that was a lie!

i got shit sorted and i'm working as hard as i can to get this up. The show must go on! i love you guys, thank you for your unending support and for 600 hits! you guys are amazing.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Alright.” Dib said, waving softly as Zim scaled the wall and hopped through the window. He did as he was told after Zim left, getting up and stripping the bed of its old sheets. Gross. He threw the bedding in the wash and promptly stumbled his way into the bathroom. Jesus, when was the last time he came in here to shower?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Cal here! I'm so fucking sorry for the wait, shit just got so confusing, i got on two new meds and band camp was... a lot. so bear with me if it's not exactly the best. Thank you guys so much for sticking to this for so long, i really appreciate it!

Zim stiffens suddenly. Love? Girl? Who was the one that sits behind him? Greta? No, that was the one that recently got her braces taken off. Zita. It was Zita.

“I see.” He says, yanking himself away from Dib a little bit harsher than he intended. He felt reluctant to let go of the boy. “Then you won’t be needing Zim’s services! You have your Zita-girl-friend to help your squishy brain to relax.” He concluded, brushing off his clothes as Dib looked hurt, the tiredness immediately vanishing from the boy’s face. Oh, how Zim hated that look. But it was so pretty on Dib’s features. He almost came to love it, but that would mean loving the same boy who threatened to spill his guts every day for the past six years. He tried to look composed and unaffected by the pretty look of hurt on Dib’s face. Dib was very pretty, wasn’t he? 

“Good! I have more important things to attend to like getting rid of your annoying little cameras!” His PAK legs burst out from behind him, stabbing holes in the plaster as he scuttled up and out of the human’s window. He paused for a second, looking back at Dib for a moment before slipping on his disguise and rushing out the window. His antennae were trembling as he felt close to tears. He rushed back to his base and planned to stow himself away in his lab, though his PAK legs threatened to give away his identity. 

“ZITA!” He hissed as he slammed the door shut to his base. “Of all the undeserving- Has he forgotten all the times she’s called him crazy since I landed on this stupid ball of dirt?”

“You call Mary crazy, too!” Gir piped up, wiping nacho cheese off of his mechanical mouth. Zim wasn’t even sure how a robot could eat. Not to mention how the little robot could hang upside down off the couch like that without his garbage robot brain falling out. Faulty little robot. Soon though, he turned his attention back to whatever commercial he had decided was his favorite on the TV. 

“That’s DIFFERENT!” He shouted, his voice cracking slightly as he wanted to scream and cry. He tugged hard on his antennae after he ripped off his disguise. What did Zita have that he didn’t? What did that stupid, big headed, pretty human see in that disgusitng girl that he didn’t see in Zim?

He didn’t go to school on Thursday. He had ripped out all of the bugged mics and cameras that Dib had left from days ago and was now focused on getting Dib’s attention off of Zita. 

…

He couldn’t outright kill her, could he? 

… 

Humans hated people who killed each other, right? He needed something else. Something that would repulse Dib from Zita, because he very well knew that it was already the other way around. He needed some way to make Zita so unappealing to Dib that Dib would have to come crying back to him. Something that made Zita not even considerably a good mate. Dib would be his, only his. 

“Computer! Find what makes human mates undesirable!” He barked, pulling himself into the way too high chair at his drafting desk. This had to work. It had to, he’d make sure of it. If it didn’t, he’d force it to. He decided that only targeting Zita wasn’t going to work. He had to target the whole school. And possibly Dib. He had to make sure no one tried to pick his Dib. He huffed. Of course, this didn’t get rid of the very frustrating variable of Dib himself falling for someone else. Someone more inferior. Someone who wasn’t Zim. Of course… There was one way to prevent that… 

No! He could never do surgery on his Dib without his permission! What was he thinking?

But it did turn out in his favor that humans had an eclectic bundle of traits that made one undesirable to someone else. Things like infidelity and sexual history. Yuck. He decided to focus on the things he could control, things like hygiene and rude behavior.

He could make a schoolwide stink bomb that just didn’t affect him. Dib would just have to admit that Zim was the best smelling and clean. Then, no one would pick Dib because he would also stink! Ha! He was a genius. This would work, yes.

He could sneak into Zita’s house and trash her things, turn off her water and replace her cleansing chalk with Gir’s ‘improved’ bacon version. He could remove all of her makeup and combs and let her go like that for a few days, until Dib’s affections curled up and died in a corner, along with his sense of smell. Oh yes, this was excellent. 

Dib felt hurt.

Zim didn’t like him, right? Then why did he react so strongly like he did? Shouldn’t he be happy? Supportive of Dib? This wasn’t fair! He curled up and his face felt hot and sticky with sweat, his eyes stinging and beginning to get watery. 

Did he just lose his only friend over some stupid girl drama?

He sniffled and when he wiped at his face tiredly, he was surprised to find tears. He couldn’t bring himself to face Zim at school. He felt lost, tired, and sad. And also extremely frustrated, mostly at himself.

Meanwhile, Gaz had a stupid fucking alien to beat answers out of. Her big brother hadn’t come out of his room for a while, except for the occasional food and bathroom break. What the fuck did that bug do now? She bashed every single stupid gnome in that stupid, too green front yard with a metal bat. She was getting revenge. Her knocks on the door sounded like thunder to any normal person, and they were terrifying. 

If she didn’t get answers, That stupid fucking bug would be a stupid fucking green stain on the floor. 

“Zim, I know you’re in there! You have a hell of a lot of explaining to do!” She shouted.

[Intruder alert.] Zim’s computer droned. 

“Eh?” His antennae shot up and he looked at the screen showing the view from the front door. His entire spooch clenched in on itself in fear at the sight of the eleven year old practically breaking down his door. Oh, Irk. He tabbed out of his research and pressed a button on the desk. An intercom crackled to life outside. 

[I’ve momentarily unlocked the door and will be in one of the main rooms in a moment.] He said, growling at the fact that he’d have to make new gnomes, possibly with longer range and faster reflexes.

He stepped into an elevator and made his way up to the ground floor. He wielded a broom and appeared on the coffee table. The Gaz-sister scared the shit out of him enough that he forgot that he was constantly surrounded by intergalactic military grade weapons. He yelped when the eleven-year-old broke down his door. 

“What makes you think I have anything to explain?” He said shakily, lifting his broom higher. 

“Because my brother has been holed up in his room for three goddamn days? Dude, what’s your damage? What did you do to make him become more of a fucking recluse than he already was?” She stomped up to him and lifted her bat into position to swing at any moment threateningly. He shrunk back. “You better tell me right now or your antennae and your head will be separate from each other. And don’t even try to deny anything. He may be an annoying dick, but he’s family and you’re not and I have no qualms about beating your ass.”

Dib was just sleeping quietly as long as he could before he woke up screaming. There were no thoughts of Zita floating around. In fact, all he thought of was Zim. 

He missed him.

He really did.

He cuddled up to the little mothman plush and opened his eyes. He didn’t want to be awake, but he was hungry.

“Eh??” He squeaked. Jesus, how scary could a little girl be? He thought for a moment. How long was he researching? It couldn’t have been that long. He was confused and shocked. “Dib has not been attending school?” Well. This new development made his mission harder and easier at the same time. “In any case, I don’t have to prove anything! Because Zim has done nothing. At least… Not yet.” He sneered. 

“The Dib thing has his girlfriend to help him sleep, he has no need for me! Zim is sure the Dib will be fine once he entrusts his Zita-love,” He stuck his tongue out. Gross. “With the task of soothing his smeetling nightmares.” He hissed, acid lacing his voice at the mention of that stupid, stupid human girl. He was beginning to hate her more and more. She didn’t deserve Dib’s attention. “Zim did nothing wrong, Dib is just being a smeet. So if that is all…” 

Gaz lowered her bat and looked at him incredulously. 

“Excuse me? Girlfriend?” She scoffed. “No. Dib doesn’t have a girlfriend. If anything, he doesn’t even like girls. No girl likes him. Zita hates his guts. Are you talking about a crush? Because he gets a lot of those. And yeah, Dib’s been blubbering about you to me whenever he comes out of his room. He’s dependent on you. He thought you guys were friends.” She sighed and lifted her bat again. “I might as well beat your ass right here and right now for being an ass. He needs you, and you’re a jerk.”

She glared at him with the ferocity of whatever twisted god decided to spite Zim. 

“You’re the only one he’s ever trusted with his nightmares. You leaving broke his heart. And for that, I might as well break you.”

Sure, Zim was scared of Gaz. Terrified, actually. There was a metal bat aimed at his head, who wouldn’t be scared? But, right now, his head was primarily focused on Dib.

He hadn’t read anything about crushes. “The Dib said love. I may be Irken, but I know that love is very important to most humans, especially when said to those not in your familial group.” He said, absolutely sure of himself. He thought for a second.

“Computer! Informal definition of crush!” He yelled, not really in any direction.

[Crush; colloquial; informal: a brief but intense infatuation for someone, especially someone unattainable or inappropriate.]

“Brief?” He chirped, his antennae perking and his lips twitching up. So it will fade off? Like an illness of feelings? Like a cold? His eyes flitted around the room for a moment as he tried to process the flood of emotions that just hit him like a tidal wave. He was only talking about a passing infatuation? One that will end regardless of his attempts to remove Zita from the equation? He looked up at Gaz. “Is nightmare entrusting a bonding milestone?” He asked. He didn’t really see anything about it in his research, but it… felt important, to say the least. Dib was troubled, he knew that, so it could be possible that this sort of thing was unique to him.

“For Dib? I’d assume so, since he keeps pretty tight lips about them even near me.” Gaz says. “His crush will die out soon. He’s got such big hearteyes for you, it’s like he’s straight from a cartoon.” Oh wait. He was. I take this fic too seriously. Hi guys! It’s Cal! Anyways… Gaz sighed heavily and put her bat down. She was so done with both of their shit. “Can you just go over there and make him stop moping? It’s weird and gross.”

Dib had gotten up and gotten skittles of all things, before snuggling back under his covers. He missed how much Zim liked skittles. He missed the way he talked, he missed him. He missed Zim, and the thought made his heart ache and his stomach clench and flutter in a way that made him sniffle and sob into his blankets. He should be thinking about Zita like that, not Zim. He just wanted to stop being confused. 

He wanted to talk and laugh until he ached with Zim, he wanted to watch The Nightmare Before Christmas on repeat with him until they both passed out, He missed him so bad. He wanted Zim. He messed up big time.

Zim looked down at the ground with an unreadable expression. He didn’t understand the implications of Dib ‘having feelings’ for him. He assumed it was a compliment, though. A sign that Dib recognized his superiority. 

“Yes… yes, Zim will escort the Gaz-sister back to the Membrane residence. And um… talk with the Dib, yes…” He said, nodding to himself as his pak leg reached out to pluck his disguise out and put it on Zim. It sounded less like a reassurance to Gaz and more like he was psyching himself up. “Zim will talk with the Dib and help the brain mush sleep without the nightmares.” He mumbled to himself, Gaz scoffing and rolling her eyes as they walked back. They were both such fucking dorks. God.

As Zim opened the door to Dib’s room, he peaked in and removed his disguise. His antennae perked as far as they’d go, trying to locate the Dib. Soon though, Ruby red eyes located the lump of sniffling teenager.

Dib smelled strongly - as if he hadn’t gotten up to actually shower since Zim had left. He almost wanted to laugh, he didn’t even have to try to put his plan in place, Dib was already doing it for him.

He didn’t really feel like laughing, though.

He closes the door behind him, once more encased in darkness. He padded up and tapped his shoulder, to which Dib didn’t respond.

As much as Dib loved his sister, he didn’t exactly want to talk right now.

Zim looked around a bit awkwardly, before taking a deep breath. The silence was deathly. He hated it.

“The Gaz-sister has informed Zim that you have been missing your Hi Skool.” He said, embarrassed at the tremble in his voice. He was no smeet! He was an Irken! Though, as soon as Dib rolled over to look at him, he didn’t feel so tough. He just felt sorry. Oh god, that watery smile Dib flashed him just made things about a hundred times worse. What was he supposed to do? How was he supposed to comfort Dib? Should he just do what he did last time and follow his instincts the Irken way? Dib seemed to react pretty positively to that the last time he confided in Zim.

“Hi Zim. I thought you weren’t coming back.” Dib mumbled, and oh Irk, His spooch squeezed with guilt. How could he just leave Dib like this? He felt like a total geed.

It was obvious, with the dark circles under his eyes and the rough squeak in his voice, that the human hadn’t gotten much sleep. Presumably from staving off another nightmare. Dib felt a flutter in his chest at Zim. Wait, what? Didn’t he like Zita? This was so stupid… He just wanted to cuddle up with Zim and sleep. The thought of Zita in his place just made something inside him cringe like it had just sucked hard on a lemon.

“Zim said no such thing.” Zim hissed, looking Dib over. He looked horrible, he decided, worse than usual. He supposed the dreams had come back full force. He snatched the skittles out of his hand sharply, fixing Dib with a glare. Sugar before bedtime was no good for humans. It promoted an inconsistent sleeping schedule, worsened by Dib’s horrible subconscious. He had briefly taken a break from his research to do some on sleep.

That didn’t matter right now. Neither why or when. 

He crawled onto the human’s bed and onto his pillow, remembering how nice it felt to be pressed up to Dib’s chest. So, he pressed Dib’s face up against his stomach, right against his invader uniform. He smiled when he felt the boy relax, running his hands through Dib’s horribly greasy hair. 

“Don’t talk. You can tell me about whatever dreams you have after you wake up. For now, just sleep.” He said, flicking off the lights and letting his pak be the only thing to illuminate the room.

He regretted not forcing Dib up to take a shower. But, as Dib mumbled something about oncoming nightmares and drifted off, He sighed and just let his fingers tingle and burn from the oils. 

Dib smiled against Zim’s stomach as he slept, relaxed as his mind finally eased up on its incessant images of horrible things.

Zim sighed as he let Dib sleep, Telling himself that even if Dib did wake up from a nightmare, he’d still be there to comfort and reassure the boy that nothing was wrong. He felt strangely protective over him. His pak opened up and a leg reached in to retrieve the sterilized baggy from inside, as well as grabbing paper off of Dib’s cluttered desk and a pen. He scribbled something on it, before setting the baggy and the note on the bedside table.

‘Consider it. 

-ZiM’

It was good as any kind of peace offering, he supposed. He closed his eyes to rest, but if he couldn’t sleep, he was content with Dib’s warmth and the slight press of a small smile against his stomach.

Dib drifted in his subconscious for a while, before he slowly started to appear on a familiar metal table with a familiar green alien sitting on his legs.

Zim looked up at him with a sorry smile, cleaning off the large wound on his chest with delicate precision. It burned, yes, but Zim was being just gentle enough that Dib found it hard to mind. Zim reached for the needle and thread and the clank of the salve bottle against the metal table next to them was the only sound in the room. 

As Zim sewed him back up, Dib smiled to him.

“It’s okay. I forgive you.” He mumbled.

A truce, a peace offering. Even in his dreams, Zim was handing him the metaphorical olive branch and a promise to make this work. That he’d be there for Dib. 

The dream faded as Dib began to wake up, and he smiled in real life as well. He gently tapped Zim’s back, looking up at him. Zim gratefully peeled himself off of Dib’s greasy head, the irritation from Dib’s skin showing just above his collar in an angry, hot pink flush.

“What time is it?” Dib whispered.

“It is 1320.” Zim shook his head. “1:20 in the afternoon.”

He took a moment to look Dib over. He still looked absolutely exhausted, but relaxed and happy, which was better than sniveling and wallowing in his self pity. 

“No nightmares tonight? Good. They should be scared of the almighty Zim.” He got off the bed, much to the chagrin of a sleepy Dib, who absentmindedly kissed Zim’s forehead right between his antennae. What. “I’m going to the base to wash up. I don’t trust the water filtration system here.” He said. He paused for a short moment, suddenly feeling guilty for leaving. “When I come back, and I will, I want you and your filthy recharging station clean.” He ordered, before putting his disguise back on. He felt horrible for even thinking about leaving right now, especially after what happened.

“Alright.” Dib said, waving softly as Zim scaled the wall and hopped through the window. He did as he was told after Zim left, getting up and stripping the bed of its old sheets. Gross. He threw the bedding in the wash and promptly stumbled his way into the bathroom. Jesus, when was the last time he came in here to shower?

He stepped in after stripping and did the process of normal shower behavior, before getting off and drying off. He got dressed in the fluffiest pyjamas he owned, redressing the bed and waiting for Zim.

…

Actually, he got Zim some skittles.


End file.
